Feeling Like You’re Failing? Here’s Why You’re Doing Better Than You Think
Mar 07, 2025
Remember! You’re Not Falling Behind—You’re Carrying More Than Most
Many caregivers feel like they’re constantly behind—on housework, routines, parenting, and life in general. The pressure to “get it right” can make it feel like nothing is ever enough. But here’s the truth: you’re doing more than you realize.
I let go of the idea of a 100% clean home a long time ago. Life as a caregiver is unpredictable, and no checklist will ever capture everything you juggle. If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing, this is your reminder that you’re actually doing better than you think.
Why Caregivers Feel Like They’re Failing (Even When They’re Not)
It’s not just you—caregivers often feel like they’re not doing enough. Here’s why that happens:
🔹 Comparison steals your confidence. Seeing other families—especially those without the same challenges—can make you feel like you’re falling short.
🔹 Your mental load is massive. Managing a home, a child’s needs, medical appointments, therapies, and daily routines is exhausting. No one is built to do it all perfectly.
🔹 Perfection is a false finish line. If success only means getting everything done flawlessly, then no wonder it feels like failure. But success is about progress, not perfection.
How to Shift Your Perspective: Small Wins, Big Impact
🔹 Recognizing Small Wins: Instead of focusing on what didn’t get done, acknowledge what did. Even getting out of bed and showing up for another day counts. Remember parenting your people is already such a heavy lift!
🔹 Adapting is a Superpower: Adjusting routines as life changes isn’t failure—it’s problem-solving. I created Cue Systems when my children were little, but I had to shift them again as my boys became adults. Systems evolve, and so do we.
🔹 Messy Progress Still Counts: A home that functions for your family is more important than one that looks perfect. I focus on doing a little something all the time rather than trying to get everything done at once.
Practical Ways to Feel More Successful
🔹 Try a “Done List” Instead of a To-Do List
For a long time, to-do lists weren’t helpful for me. Instead, I started writing a done list at the end of each day—every single thing I accomplished, no matter how small.
The magic wasn’t in doing this once—it was in the consistency. After a week of tracking, I realized just how much I was actually getting done, even when it felt like nothing.
🔹 Scale Your Daily Goals to Your Energy Level
I stopped setting unrealistic goals and started using a 3-level energy scale:
☁️ Low energy: Just focus on my non-negotiables (movement, coffee, sink clean before bed).
🌤 Medium energy: Add in extra tasks as I have capacity.
☀️ High energy: Tackle bigger projects or deep-cleaning when I have the bandwidth.
The things I must do—like feeding and personal care for my kids—aren’t measured by my energy level. But how much extra I take on each day is.
🔹 Build Rest Into Your Reality, Not an Idealized Version of It
I used to think rest meant finding time alone. But with the needs of my children and their requirement for constant supervision, that was impossible.
So I found ways to rest with them:
- Adam loves playing phone games, so I sit and play with him.
- Caden is up early, so we start our day quietly together—coffee for me, sausage and YouTube for him.
Instead of fighting the reality of my life, I worked with it. And that made all the difference.
You Care—And That’s Proof That You’re Doing Enough
If you’re reading this and feeling overwhelmed, that means you care. And that alone is proof that you’re doing enough.
💬 Think about one small win you’ve had this week? And then CELEBRATE it!!!
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