How to Streamline Household Chores with Children with Special Needs in the Home

Is it a struggle to get through basic household chores while also caring for your child with special needs? The dishes, laundry, and cleaning pile up quickly, leaving you feeling like there’s never enough time in the day. You might start with the best intentions, only to find that unexpected events, meltdowns, or pure exhaustion derail your efforts.

I’ve been there. In my search for a way to balance housework with caregiving, I stumbled upon the “Fly Lady” cleaning videos. Her system was incredibly detailed—too complicated for me—and the website was overwhelming. But one concept resonated with me: start with a clean sink.

Now, let’s be clear. I am what you might call a ‘dish piler.’ In fact, I deliberately chose Fiestaware dishes so that even a pile of dirty plates would look colorful and beautiful. I had no cleaning system—just an ever-growing pile of dishes that only got done when I had enough energy to load the dishwasher. It wasn’t perfect, but it was my reality.

The Struggle: Finding Time for Housework

Keeping up with household chores while managing your child’s unique needs can feel impossible. Without a system, it’s easy to feel like you’re always falling behind.

I tried the “all-in-one” approach to cleaning for years. Every Saturday, I’d declare: “Alright, today we’re going to clean the house from top to bottom!” I’d start strong—throwing in laundry, loading the dishwasher, scrubbing the bathroom tub—but inevitably, life would interrupt. One of the gentlemen would need my attention, or a meltdown would take hours to manage.

Other times, the exhaustion from caregiving would catch up to me. After working, cooking, chauffeuring, and managing emotions all week, I just didn’t have the energy to spend an entire day cleaning. I’d start with high hopes, but the clean, organized house I envisioned never materialized.

The Clean Sink Experiment

That’s when I decided to try the clean sink idea. While many of Fly Lady’s suggestions didn’t fit my life, this one seemed manageable. I committed to cleaning the sink every night before bed. I imagined waking up to a sparkling kitchen, clear countertops, and floors so clean I wouldn’t need to wear shoes.

The first few nights went well. I cleaned the sink, loaded the dishwasher, and went to bed feeling satisfied. But by day six, I hit a roadblock—my family generated more dishes than the dishwasher could hold. It was frustrating. I thought I had found a simple solution, only to discover it was harder than expected.

After some trial and error, I made a small but powerful adjustment. Instead of insisting that all the dishes be done each night, I focused solely on the sink. I loaded what I could into the dishwasher and placed any extra dishes on the counter. Then I scrubbed the sink until it shined, knowing I’d tackled what I could for the day. This small shift made all the difference.

The Power of a Clean Sink: Cue Systems in Action

The first morning after my reset, I went to make coffee, dreading the usual mess. But when I turned to the sink, it was empty—no dishes blocking my path. In that moment, something clicked: yesterday’s effort was a gift to today’s self.

That realization was a game-changer. The clean sink became my evening cue, and it sparked a ripple effect throughout my home. I stopped relying on marathon cleaning sessions and instead began tying household chores to smaller cues throughout the day.

For example:

• When a favorite pair of jeans returns to rotation, it’s my cue to do laundry.
• Grabbing the last pantry item triggers a grocery order.
• Every Thursday, I put out the recycling and place my weekly grocery order for pick-up, earning extra fuel points in the process.

Some of these systems might sound quirky, but they work for me. They keep me on top of household chores without overwhelming me.

Solutions: Streamlining Chores with Visual Schedules and Cue Systems

Using visual schedules and cue systems can create structure and make household management more manageable. Here are a few ways to apply these strategies in your home:

1. Involve Your Child in Household Tasks

If appropriate, include your child in tasks like sorting laundry or tidying toys. Visual schedules can guide them through these activities, giving them a sense of accomplishment and participation.

2. Use Cue Systems to Automate Routines

Tie household chores to specific cues. For example:

• Wipe down one wall of the shower each morning. Over the course of a week, the entire shower will stay clean with minimal effort.
• Use laundry baskets sized for a single load—when a basket is full, it’s your cue to do that load.

These autopilot routines reduce your mental load, freeing up energy for caregiving and self-care.

3. Shift Away from "All-or-Nothing" Thinking

Instead of setting aside an entire day for cleaning, spread tasks throughout the week. Setting a timer for just 5 minutes can make a big difference. In that time, you can wipe a counter, clean a toilet, or switch over a load of laundry. Tackling small tasks consistently prevents overwhelm and keeps your household running smoothly.

Finding Cleaning Moments in Your Daily Routine

If your child requires constant supervision, finding time for chores can be even more challenging. That’s why I recommend storing a cleaning caddy where you can access it easily.

For example, I keep a cleaning caddy under the sink in the bathroom. While my son takes a bath or uses the toilet, I have a few minutes of downtime. During those moments, I wipe down the sink, clean the toilet, or scrub the tub. This system ensures the bathroom gets cleaned regularly without needing to carve out extra time.

Safety Note: If you’re concerned about children accessing cleaning supplies, consider storing them in a locked tackle box or using magnetic cabinet locks, which worked well for us when we were licensed foster parents.

Simplify Your Household Management Today

Managing household chores while caring for children with special needs is no easy task. But with the right systems in place, you can create a more balanced, efficient home environment.

Start small—maybe it’s committing to a clean sink at night or finding one task you can automate. I share tips and ideas over on Instagram @KatyWithPockets, where I break down strategies to simplify your day. These small changes can add up over time, giving you more space to focus on what matters most: your family.

Together, we can streamline your household chores and reclaim your time—one small step at a time.