The Power of Routine: How Consistent Schedules Support Children with Disabilities

"A schedule defends from chaos and whim. It is a net for catching days." – Annie Dillard

Things are always changing: As a parent of a child(ren) with disabilities, you understand how unpredictable daily life can feel. Between school, therapy sessions, and unexpected challenges, maintaining a sense of order often seems impossible. I remember a particularly challenging period when Caden's bus driver, who had been with us for nearly two years, announced her upcoming retirement in a month.

Outwardly, I celebrated her success, appreciating the advance notice that allowed us to prepare. We talked through how excited she was and the things she planned to do with her life.  Inwardly, however, panic began to creep in. I knew this change would disrupt our carefully planned morning routine, affecting not just Caden but the entire household.

Instead of letting panic take over, I took a few days to sit with my feelings, allowing myself to simmer rather than react immediately. This pause gave me the clarity to develop a new plan. By the time the retirement day arrived, we had discussed the changes and re-established our morning routine with added flexibility. We also introduced a new simple step as we stood on the porch looking out to the bus pulling up: we would check, "Let’s see who your driver is today." This small adjustment helped my son prepare for the upcoming day when his driver would no longer be in his bus.

All this work was necessary but as the driver shifted into retirement the district did not identify a regular driver for our route.  So everyday a new driver and a new aide showed up.  Some knew Caden from occasional substitutions but it was like we were starting over and it was the first day of school - EVERYDAY!

The other problem was the bus arrival.  Previously the bus arrived within a pretty tight 15 minute window around the scheduled pick-up time.  However, with the constant switch in drivers the bus schedule became very erratic arriving either really early or very late swinging within an hour window.  It was madness!  We basically had to prepare to be ready and then wait up to an hour.  Our strict time-based routine unraveled, leading to chaos and meltdowns. Caden thrives on structure and routine, and the unpredictability of the new bus schedule shattered the calm we had worked so hard to cultivate.

The Struggle of Maintaining Consistency: Without a consistent routine, many children, especially those with special needs, can experience higher levels of stress and anxiety. This often leads to more frequent meltdowns and heightened frustration for both the child and the parent. Imagine the first domino in your meticulously planned system falling when the bus pick-up time is delayed by an hour.

During this challenging period, I was juggling a full-time job with the demands of home life. Coordinating my Caden's bus schedule, preparing Adam for his day, and ensuring I arrived at work on time became an overwhelming task. The unpredictability of the bus schedule not only disrupted our mornings but also drained my energy, leaving me exhausted from the constant self-regulation and support I needed to provide.

This experience made it clear that I needed a more resilient system—one that could withstand unexpected changes without throwing our entire routine into disarray.

Finding Stability Through Visual Schedules: Can you relate to feeling overwhelmed by circumstances beyond your control, despite your best efforts to create routine and balance? Around this time, I came across the concept of ‘radical acceptance’ in a productivity book. While I didn’t fully grasp its original intent, it inspired me to take a step back and reassess my situation.

By breaking down the problem, I realized that while I couldn't control the bus driver's schedule, I could control our response to it. This led me to explore ways to create a consistent routine that wasn't strictly time-based.

Creating a Flexible Visual Schedule: Establishing a consistent routine can significantly help children feel secure, knowing what to expect next. The key is to design routines that are flexible enough to accommodate unexpected changes. Here's how I approached it:

1. Wake Up and Get Dressed:
• Visual Cue: Picture of clothes and shoes.
• Details: Caden puts on his shoes and socks as a signal that it's time to go to school. On non-school days, he wears different shoes without socks, signaling a change in routine.
2. Free Time During Breakfast Preparation:
• Visual Cue: Picture of breakfast items and free play activities.
• Details: While I prepare breakfast, Caden engages in independent activities, knowing he has designated free time.
3. Eat Breakfast:
• Visual Cue: Picture of a breakfast table.
• Details: As Caden eats, I take a moment for myself, signaling that this is a calm period where no immediate action is needed.
4. School Prep:
• Visual Cue: Picture of a backpack and school items.
• Details: I pack Caden's backpack and give him a 10-minute countdown to prepare for the bus. This includes reminders to use the bathroom and gather his items.
5. Head to the Front Room:
• Visual Cue: Picture of the front room window.
• Details: We move to the front room to wait for the bus, allowing him to see it arrive through the window. This step decouples our routine from the bus's exact arrival time, reducing anxiety when delays occur.

Implementing the Visual Schedule: I created a vertical sheet of white paper with five pictures representing each step. Placing this schedule on a clipboard allowed it to be easily accessible and portable. After each use, I returned it to a designated hook, ensuring consistency and visibility every morning.

Start Building Your Routine Today: If you're feeling overwhelmed by the unpredictability and striving to create a stable routine for your child, you're not alone. I've been using visual schedules in my home for over 20 years, adapting them to fit the unique needs of each child.

How to Begin:

1. Start Small: Choose one challenging time of day and implement a visual schedule for that period. It could be morning routines, bedtime, or transitioning between activities.
2. Customize: Adjust the visuals and steps to match your child’s preferences and your household’s unique dynamics.
3. Build Gradually: Once the first schedule is in place and working smoothly, gradually add more visual schedules to other parts of the day.

Want to discuss visual schedules further? Inside the KWP community are free resources like blank or pre-set visual schedules.  We also have frequent Q&A's where I answer your specific questions and you can hear how other parents implement these and other cue systems.  Join free today!