Youโre Not โJustโ a Caregiver: Why Your Dreams and Goals Matter
Jan 22, 2025
You are a whole person with dreams, goals, and an identity that matters—just as much as the care you give to others.
It’s easy to feel guilty when you think about prioritizing yourself. There’s always something more urgent, something more important. But here’s the truth: your dreams don’t have to take a backseat to caregiving.
The Struggle with Guilt
As a parent or caregiver, you’re constantly giving. It often feels like there’s no room for your goals and dreams without taking away from your family. Over time, many caregivers fall into the trap of identifying solely with their role, losing touch with their own desires and feeling stuck and unfulfilled. I remember the day I looked down at myself while getting my son on his bus–wrinkled pajama shirt shoved under an oversized sweatshirt drifting over non-matching pajama pants and a pair of random flip flops. This was in part because I was not sleeping well at the time but it also covered up those extra pounds I picked up recently. I was not only a visual mess but also an emotional one.
Guilt is tricky. I remember being consumed by it when my children were younger—guilt about my abilities, my home, my parenting, and even silly things like the quality and effort I put into dinner. Sometimes, it was guilt over taking the easy road with chicken nuggets instead of roasting a whole chicken.
I realized guilt was eating away at everything, and I knew I had to face it head-on. But there wasn’t a one-size-fits-all approach that worked for me. Instead, I started with tangible, actionable steps—small wins I could build on for momentum:
- Simplify Mealtime: I built a realistic weekly menu with seven theme nights that repeat. On Sundays, I prepare a large roasted item (like chicken, beef, or pork) that provides enough leftovers for at least one additional meal, sometimes even lunches. This simple system calms my guilt around mealtimes.
- Streamline Wardrobes: Caden has multiple pairs of the exact same shorts and pants, making getting dressed a breeze and eliminating the search for that one pair of matching clothes.
- Grace with Thoughts: When a guilt-driven thought creeps in, I stop and decide if it deserves my attention. If it’s important, I address it. But if it’s based on unrealistic expectations or someone else’s ideals, I let it go.
These small steps didn’t just reduce my guilt—they gave me the confidence to continue creating systems that work for my family and me.
Reclaiming Your Identity Through Systems Thinking
What if reclaiming your identity didn’t mean taking away from your family, but adding to it? Simple systems can free up time and energy to focus on yourself without sacrificing what matters most.
I’ve found that doing internal work—like reframing thoughts or setting personal goals—is so much easier when I’m not stressed about dishes, laundry, or cleaning. By setting up multiple Cue Systems in my home to autopilot these repeatable tasks, I’ve freed up time and created the mental space to focus on meaningful changes.
Implementing small, effective routines can help you structure your day in a way that supports your family while opening space for your dreams to breathe again.
๐ Take the First Step Today ๐
Are you ready to take a small step toward reclaiming your identity while managing your family’s needs? My FREE guide, '12 Basic Cue Systems to Streamline Your Day,' will help you create simple systems to support your daily routines and open up space for YOU.
๐ซ Click to sign up here and take the first step toward a more beautiful, balanced life.
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